Don’t Think, Forget it.

I have enlisted a new minion to my ever-growing army of mechanical elephant controllers. [milu888] has joined our forced (that’s her screen name by the way) will join our already disparate group. Adding yet another dimension to the normal (and yet distinctly crazy) folk we have posting here.

Now that that’s off my chest, I will continue…

Officially Tuesday March 17th is St. Patricks Day, however bar’s [and people] have started celebrating today where I am. In fact until I went to Wikipedia I actually thought it was today! Well apparently that’s a misconception on my part [and my friends? and the bars?] I confirmed at a few other locations and my best guess as to why we all thought it was today is because it’s a friday.

No one wants to spend the day drinking and feasting on a Tuesday when it’s not an official national holiday. Thus, the closest weekend gets targeted. Far from being a 1 day celebration any of us who claim irish-roots, or just plain ol’ wanna’ drink’ some green-shite. Start off on Friday. The Parade’s being held saturday or sunday depending on where you are. It’s easier having a weekend off and saying “Hey! Have a pint! wear some green, eat good food, have fun”

To that end I did some drinking. I also watched the first episode of True Blood and have now resolved [for perhaps the dozenth time] to read the first six books of the Sookie Stackhouse series [yes its true I read the seventh before I realized it was a series.] and I just want to make the comment… All my pre-conceptions of Anna Paquin just flew out the damn window. If you haven’t seen true blood yet, I strongly suggest you do regardless of if you like paranormal/ vampires/ ect.

To jump topics yet again [blame the alcohol although I believe I am doing a credible job of ensuring my spelling and thoughts are cohesive and correct?]…..

Francesco’s post about “keep things simple” earlier this week has had a thought boiling in my head for a new post. The night before it was posted I’d been trying to explain to my mother my concept of “Don’t Think” as in “Don’t worry until you need to.” “Don’t concern yourself over things beyond your control.”

Which for me also equals to don’t think period. Situations, People, Worries, Money, Jobs, Concerns… anything that would normally concern or worry you simply add stress to your life. They bog down your mind as the thoughts roll over and over. Stress [in my un-educated but life-experianced opinion] comes from thinking too-much about something.

Yes, its bad when you bounce your bank account or are late to work. Yes its terrible when someone close to you has something bad happen. How much should you really think about that? If you consider the fact that I think [perhaps too much] and am prone to worrying about these little things [and thus stressing myself out] then you will understand when I say “forget it.”

I don’t really mean to forget [although sometimes I really do, which is bad when I have bills I need to pay] what I mean Is that I [and maybe you] shouldn’t spend so much of our lives worrying and thinking about something.

Back to my money example. It’s nice to be able to consider “oh I have 100$ and I need to pay these bills which is more than I have by this date… I don’t have enough.” That’s a terrible realization but fretting and gnawing your finger-nails about it for a week won’t do you any good or get you any closer to resolution.

“Shit, I need 50$ more to pay my bills by friday.” Stop. Don’t let it rattle around and drive you nuts and make you depressed. Make a decision. “I will have to ask so-and-so to borrow it.” or “I will just have to face the consequences and pay the extra 30$ late-fee” when you compare that late-fee to your mental-well-being it becomes insignificant.

[read more?]

Odds are before you realized you didn’t have enough You forgot about it, or circumstances [like your car breaking down] added up to lack of money. You can’t rewind time. Face it because as much as you’d like to it’s a fact. Who wrote that in stone I don’t know but its true. Either make a decision to work some extra-hours or more and pay the extra 30$ when you have it, Or borrow the money. [or in extreme cases make the decision to not-pay until you can in favor of really important things like food-heat-and-gas to get back and forth to work.]

Perhaps especially in today’s economy this is true. What’s more important? Worrying about your finances while at work, while having dinner with your family, then snapping at everyone around you while you chew your fingers and still come up with no answer other than “put it off” or… Make the quick decision, face the consequences and move on. For one, you won’t be distracted.

The same can be said about situations and people. You know so-and-so, and are close to them. But they are having a rough-time and it’s impacting your life because your so worried about them. It’s nice to be worried, it shows you care. How worried can you afford to be? If your like me then it keeps you up late at night.

The consequences for staying up late, or thinking too much can result in forgetting other important things. Make a decision about what your going to do for so-and-so. Is any of it in your control? Can you do anything to help? If you can’t find anything you can do directly then just make a resolution. “I will be here for them when they call and need advice, or need to talk to someone.” Make sure to leave a loop-hole “If I am able to do so.” Because life is tough and you have your own to worry about first-and-foremost.

Then, stop thinking. Forget it. Leave it somewhere in the back of your mind where its not disturbing you and your daily life. You know you care, you’ve figured out what you can do. So leave it at that. If you realize you can’t do anything [and it hurts you emotionally because you realize this] then the rule still applies.

At some point you have to say to yourself “I’m sorry, my own life has enough complications, I can’t help the fact that your going through this bad time too. I have certain things I need to do to keep ME on track and unfortunately that takes up so much that I can’t spare much to help you out.” You can of course say that to the other person, but if their situation is really that bad you might not want to.

Apologies to yourself, assure yourself you’ve done everything you can [morally, emotionally, whatever you think you should have or need to do] and then forget it. Put it in the back of your mind and stop thinking. Turn off the worry-switch.

I won’t pretend its easy, especially not if you take it beyond what few examples I’ve given. I try to live what I call an “Aerodynamic Life” living in a way where I create {and receive} as little resistance among other people as I can.

Say you woke up late to work, possibly your first time in many many months. It was maybe 730 or 8am, but you aren’t due in to work “officially” until 8am however since you are always there at 630 or 7 you felt you were late.

You called to inform work, banged around while getting more and more frustrated with yourself while you tried to get ready. You may have even flown like a bat out of hell down the road to get there. Point Blank, your being late had an impact on your state-of-mind even if it was only in those first few moments after waking up.

Me, if that happened a year or two ago I’d have done the same. That sour-memory of having been late held the looming potential for ruining my entire day perhaps without me even realizing.

So now…

I wake up late. It’s an hour after I am supposed to be there. What can I do? I am already late, is rushing really going to help me? Well it -might- help me get there faster, and I’ve already called work to let them know and say I’m sorry right? So I know the consequences, I know there is the possibility of being “written up” or “loosing my job” if this behavior continues.

As a worrier at one point in my life the worry about “tomorrow” “the day after” “next month” would add up. I’d be perpetually concerned. Even if it was “my first time” late to this job. “well what if….”

I know the consequences. Period. I wake up, realize I am late, and accept said consequences. No they won’t be preety if and when they happen. Yes they will have a huge impact on my life “if and when they happen”. Notice a key phrase here? Yeah so did I at some point. I am worried about an eventuality. Which with the given failing job-market and economy is possibly even more alarming.

If I went into work thinking about those things then that eventuality would just eat me right up, swallow me whole, and spit me back out all before lunch time. Turning me into a mush of baby-food that just can’t stay focused.

So when I realize I’m late, I stop thinking about it “forget it.” I say to myself. I go about my morning rituals [without rushing] and arrive at work at surprisingly about the same time as if I had rushed, banged around and gotten frustrated with myself. Which for some reason or another slows you down more than taking your time. Have your coffee, and make sure your in a good-frame of mind before you show up at work.

Hopefully, your late-ness can then be compensated by having a clear mind, focused on your job. If you work hard you can catch-up on the lost time. If you get confronted because your late, accept it. Don’t argue with your boss, or make excuses. They won’t help after-the-fact, just apologize and ensure them you will make an effort not to let it happen again.

Don’t think about the possibilities. Just face whats right in front of you when it happens. “Well what if…” will eventually wear you down. I found I expended so much of my time and energy worrying that I had little time, focus, or patience to accomplish anything else in life.

So do your best. There may not be a built-in-pause-button for life, but you do have control over your perception of it. Take your time and get to work in a good mood and do your best after arriving late. Deal with the lecture and consequences when they actually come.

Why spend hours, days, weeks, or months wondering “when” your boss will breath down your throat? Why spend hours, days, weeks, or months wondering “what you could have done differently.” or “how you can pay X on time when you don’t or won’t have money?” or “how can I help so-and-so” when in the back of your head you know you can’t.

Perhaps I should even throw in “how should I help myself.” to that list… Key to “forget it” is to Consider it, and make a decision. Don’t dwell on it but take action. If you don’t know what action to take then shrug it off. Say to yourself “I’ll figure this out later” and then later you can spend some time thinking about it, but not too much time!

One thing before considering the “don’t think until necessary, forget it until you have to remember it” tactic I take… is some things should not be forgotten. Ie: Doctors appointments, and when to pay those pesky bills.


One thought on “Don’t Think, Forget it.

  1. […] 2009 March 16 by Francesco Rizzi [RealitySyndrome]’s last post (”Don’t Think, Forget It“) triggered the last working neuron in my brain (cavity). Since it’s only one neuron, […]

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