The weather yesterday in Central New York State was… well perfect. Certainly not the weather I would have expected in mid-February as we come closer to the birthday of mine that is typically buried under blizzard like conditions. No, this weather was more suitable for a late-May early-June day. The kind of mild-weathered but warm day that makes you think of spring. As well as spring-cleaning.
Today on the other hand is a different story entirely. I didn’t want to get out from under my nice warm covers. It is almost as if the cold, dark, day seeped in to my house and caused a case of stage-2 zombified lethargy. That is not actually the case, since my house is for the most part warm. The only weather that has an impact inside, is when it get’s below twenty. Then you can feel it crisping the air through my old windows. Or the day’s that are amazingly hot for this area, but I like those.
For week’s now I have been meaning to clean this place up, and start writing on the blog again. For almost two years, I have been very anti-social online, and otherwise. I have not wanted to share my life publicly because it was frequently rather insane and asinine. Nor did I think I had the time to write about things which actually were worthy of a blog post. Well time is a grand illusion… The fact is I have plenty of time, especially now that I have begun to shed the snowball I created to fill my excess of free-time.
Meanwhile I have had things to write about floating around in my head. Over the weekend these things were mingling in my brain with a nearly manic-edge.
Imagine a little terrier that is hyper-active with a single-minded focus on wanting to chew that bone. He attacks it with determination, except after a few seconds of gnawing on it he realizes the room is filled with bones. Within an hour this little terrier has created a complete disaster, bones are everywhere, furniture is destroyed, and worse still he’s escaped out the doggy door to unleash his particular brand of mayhem on the world.
That is what I felt like, as if I had been taken over by this hyper-active terrier latching on to one idea-bone after another. End result none got the attention they needed – because I needed to re-direct my energy or go insane. So I went off an occupied myself with the best thing I could do when my brain is running away without me. I cooked, I cleaned, I comforted myself with manual-labor and familiar rituals and carried on as normal a day-to-day life as I could. Hopefully no one noticed my attention span wasn’t the greatest, or that I was more on-edge than usual.
My brain grudgingly gives me a few hours break here and there so I can do things like work, and make sure people are fed, cats have water, laundry gets done.
I even made time to play the one game that requires absolutly no brain power, so I could let my mind wander. The Sims 3 and once again it appealed to my artistic nature, my compulsive nature, and it can keep up with me even when I change my mind every five minutes about how I would like to arrange the living room. I wasted the better part of three day’s doing that whenever I had a spare-moment.
Then later at night I pay the price, I lay down in bed with a sigh of relief all comfy warm and utterly exhausted. Only to find my brain clicks on, and resumes right where it left off.
Well…. This manic-terrier has finally become sick of all that running around and just wants to chew on one bone, guard another, and stare at the bone that’s sitting just out of reach. If this terrier had Jedi power he might just manage to get it to himself without moving a muscle. Terrier’s rank among my least-favorite types of dog. They constantly seem to have too much energy, and after twenty minutes of down-time seem to be right back up again.
After a few day’s of that sort of constant motion and constant thinking, I don’t. I also don’t have Jedi power, nor do I think there is enough energy left to get up and go take care of that stray thought. Nope. I really did want to stay in bed and succumb once again to that blissful state of sleep without thinking.
I didn’t feel 100% awake when I finally did drag myself out of bed. Guzzling down coffee by the gallon helped, which is good since it’s critical to be awake while driving around this city in a school bus. Even if no other drivers are out that early, there are kids. Even the not-quite young-adults that I pick up who wait in the near-dark for their bus require extra watchfulness. Odds are they are half-asleep too, they certainly seem to be when they get on. Regardless driving period, school bus or not, when you’re not paying attention is just… crazy.
But that is just the sort of thing I see all the time and it drives me… crazy.
So I got myself fully awake while enjoying my pre-work coffee, and waited for the bus to heat up just a tad. That’s when I decided I would get home, and follow up on that spring-time thought from yesterday and do a little “spring-cleaning” on this blog. I’m not going to remove old posts, but I did removed all authors other than myself. In the process of that I found myself actually writing a rather pointless post, this one.
That’s the stage-2 zomified lethargy, and mild case of zombie-brain I have going on. Out of all the things I wanted to write about, this is what I wound up with. Along with the idea that my real-life self, has a bunch of Sims3 “Needs” bubbles which need to be filled. I’m going to go brew a big pot of coffee, because this zombie’s fresh out of brains.